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| Lucas Replacement Smoke Kit |
As seen on ebay...
I was recently informed that this item, and the subsequent auction, was created by Craig Bolton, of Autodynamics in Belington, WV. He writes "It tickles me that the auction lives on via your webpage" and kindly gives me permission to continue to use it on this site.
Craig adds: "I have one confession to make- The unit was not actuially destroyed. It's currently in Atlanta, serving as a trickle-replenisher to keep the electrics going on Stacey Shepens' Lotus-Morgan race car. One George Wolf purloined the thing from our display case at Import Carlisle and spirited it south so he could use the time he normally spent hooking up the battery charger drinking beer and exaggerating his importance."
Enjoy... and if you happen to be in Belington, buy Craig a beer, OK?
Have you inadvertently let the smoke out of the wires on your classic British car? This, then, is the solution to your problem!
Here is presented for your perusal one Lucas Replacement Wiring Harness Smoke kit, P/N 530433, along with the very rare Churchill Tool 18G548BS adapter tube and metering valve. These kits were supplied surreptitiously to Lucas factory technicians as a trouble-shooting and repair aid for the rectification of chronic electrical problems on a plethora of British cars. The smoke is metered, through the fuse box, into the circuit which has released it's original smoke until the leak is located and repaired. The affected circuit is then rectified and the replacement smoke re-introduced. An advantage over the cheap repro smoke kits currently available is the exceptionally rare Churchill metering valve and fuse box adapter. It enables the intrepid and highly skilled British Car Technician to meter the precise amount of genuine Lucas smoke required by the circuit.
Unlike the cheap, far-eastern replacement DIYsmoke offered by the "usual suppliers", this kit includes a filter to ensure that all the smoke is of consistent size, It has been our experience in our shop that the reproduction Taiwanese smoke is often "lumpy", which will cause excessive resistance in our finely-engineered British harnesses and components. This is often the cause of failure in the repro electrical parts currently available, causing much consternation and misplaced cursing of the big three suppliers.
These kits have long been the secret weapon of the "Ultimate Authorities" in the trade, and this may be the last one available. Be forewarned, though, that it is not applicable to any British vehicle built after the discontinuing of bullet connectors, so you Range Rover types are still on your own...
This Genuine Factory Authorized kit contains enough smoke to recharge the entire window circuit on a 420 Jaguar, and my dear friend and advisor George Wolf of British Auto Specialty assures me that he can replace ALL the smoke in a W&F Barrett All-Weather Invalid Car(147 CC) with enough left over to test a whole box of Wind-Tone horns for escaped smoke. How much more of an endorsement do you need?
More, you say? Well, I once let the smoke out of the overdrive wiring on my friend Roger Hankey's TR3B, and was able to drive over 200 miles home from The Roadster Factory Summer Party by carefully introducing smoke into the failed circuit WITHOUT even properly repairing the leak. Another friend, Richard Stephenson, was able to repair the cooling fan circuit of his Series 1 E-type by merely replacing a fuse and injecting a small quantity of smoke back into the wires. So there!
So, if you're troubled by lost smoke, bid early and bid often! Thanks for looking!
=====
Questions & Answers
Q: I have a fourteen year old son named Lucas who I have caught several times
in the back of the garage smoking. Can this item help him to respect a little
firm parental intervention and aid him in smoking less...or even stopping
altogether?
A: Part of the problem may be the fact that you named your son after the Prince
Of Darkness. Mayhap you should be happy that all you have caught him doing in
the back of the garage is smoking! My suggestion is: since you already have
spoiled him for life with his moniker, you search the 'Bay for a proper Little
British Car to restore as a father-and-son project. That way, he'll have a way
to fill the idle hours he'd have spent chasing girls had he been named Rocky or
something more suitable. Plus, he'll learn first-handed how disgusting smoke can
be. Alas, though, not with this unit, because whilst trying to photograph it for
a spread in "Popular Ether Technology", it was unfortunately broken.
Therefore, the auction must be terminated early. Thanks for the heartwarming
interest!
Q: Once I have re-introduced smoke into my TR-2, do you warranty that it's
system will resume operating at the speed of dark?
A: If you reintroduce the smoke through a microwave oven, you may even go back
in time!
Q: I have been very diligent over the years and have maintained the smoke in
my Sunbeam's wires perfectly. The problem is that that special Lucas perfume has
disappeared from the dash, carpets and seats. In fact, at the last Concours
d'Elegance I lost out to a frogeye with period odors. Is the smoke in your kit
fresh enough to bring back the OEM smells of burning plastic and bakelite and
are you including an adapter to replace same.
A: No adapter needed, but have you tried just STARTING that over-restored trailer
queen? It might bring back the aroma by itself.
Q: This has been a most informative thread which set me off thinking about
wider global environmental changes that have happened since the mid 70's. Could
it be that the copious release of smoke from Lucas wiring looms around that time
has significantly contributed to the holes in the ozone layer and the onset of
global warming? Could it be that, had your excellent device been more available
at that time, we could have saved the planet for future generations instead of
fighting a rear guard action? Hindsight is such a wonderful thing isn't it.
A: Hey- This is a serious site- we're not discussing "junk science"
like Global Climate Change!
Q: I have a questions. For some time. My object is to restore a the few
pre-Chrysler Rootes Sunbeam Tigers to original factory condition, with ALL the
LAT racing options. So far, I have been quite successful, but unaware of your
Lucas Smoke Kit. I am perplexed as to it's satisfactory application to this
original British Classic that Mr. Carroll Shelby has enhanced with a lot of Ford
(USA) parts. This includes a large portion, but not all, of the electrics. It is
very easy to differentiate between the Lucas Parts and the Ford Parts, as the
Ford Parts still work. While we can admire Mr. Lucas for the development of the
intermittent windshield wiper, the self-dimming lighting system, and the
colorful turn signal spark generator, it is unclear whether your offering will work satisfactorily with so much of the electrics originating in the US. Is this
device compatible, as the US parts do not show signs of leaking smoke?
A: The Lucas smoke may cause failure of the connecting interstices, but the, so
will everything else.
Q: Maybe you can help me. I have an old generator that I have suspected of
having a metaphysical ozone leak for several years. It’s one of those things I
feel I know to be true but cannot prove. Anyway, through an ingenious marriage
of a Sharper Image Ionic Breeze air purifier and a breast milk pump, (by the
way, both were obtained on ebay) I have devised a way to recharge the ozone that
I can smell leaking from the generator. But, you guessed it, when I disconnect
the wiring to introduce the replacement ozone I invariably cause a smoke leak.
Do you think there is a way to mate our two machines in such a way that I could
“kill two birds with a single stone” – if you will.
A: That's just wrong.
Q: Can I use this device to replace the smoke in my Alfa Spider? Is Brit
smoke the same as Italian smoke?
A: Only if it's pre-Bosch.
Q: Will this kit put back ALL the smoke in a 1975 Midget wire harness? Some
time ago while driving our 75 Midget smoke began pouring from under the hood,
after pulling over, smoke was immediately followed by flames. A HUGE amount of
smoke was lost from the wire harness (10 minutes worth before the fire department
showed up). Your jar appears to be too small to contain the volume of smoke
produced by the Midget on that day. Please specify quantity of smoke. PS - Would
you know where can get bulk replacement glue on insulation, there is none left on
any part of the wire harness under the hood. The harness appears to be intact
but is lacking smoke holding insulation. I'm planning on rerouting the main
power buss from over top of the fuel line. This way next time I will have smoke,
red hot wires without melting thru the fuel line. Thanks in advance.
A: You'll need bulk smoke, but I'd try your last suggestion before ordering any.
Good luck!
Q: Is this setup on the "metric system" or can it be used
universally? I have a MB 380SL but have replaced some of the wirings with U.S.
products. Will your product make the transition? Also, are there any EPA
limitations on shipping?
A: This setup is Whitworth only. sorry.
Q: As you may or may not know, the Japanese 'borrowed' heavily from British
designs back in the 50's and 60's. In fact, the Skinner Union carbs on my
beloved Datsun 1600 roadster were actually built by Hitachi under license. Also,
most of the electrical devises in early Datsuns were copied from Lucas. That
said, do you know if an adapter is available to use the Lucas Kit you offer on a
Datsun 1600 or do I need to keep searching for the Hitachi/Mitsubshi version?
Thanks, Paul
A: It sort of worked in my Datsun 410 Station Wagon, but the lights all shined
in instead of out. It was quite disturbing...
Q: Does this unit contain new or re-cycled smoke and will if my 1966 Triumph
Bonneville motorcycle?
A: This is new, previously un-leaked smoke, as originally installed on your
T-120. Have at it!
Q: Would this product fix the Miller dynamo on my motorbike? The smoke got
out of it years ago and I am in despair. Having to run a total loss electrical
system now. Please, no smart-alec comments about nothing to lose. I have been desperate
for a cure for years and will jump at anything. I get so depressed.
But I really liked your answers to all the questions. I learned so much. You
must be smart. What are some good upgrades for my bike? Should I get a Boyer
electronic ignition?
A: Probably.
Q: It looks like a self contained, auto smoking, environmentally enclosed,
smoke recirculation, multi-smoker bong I created in the late 60s. The only thing
missing is the air manifold (from a fish tank set-up) to hook up the individual
smoking tubes. Are you sure you didn’t get this idea from me, when we were
smoking that wacky tobacco one time? ; > )
A: Could be. I can't remember.
Q: I have the identical part but needs the smoke refill cartage, i was told to
ring 84433 3-33888444555 or speed dial 666 is that you?
A: No, that's that shop in Michigan.
Q: Do you have any idea if the kit will work on Alfa Romeos? My 1963 Giulia
has bullet connectors, a Lucas windshield wiper motor, and a variety of other
Lucas components. Earlier Alfas had lots more Lucas stuff, such as starter motor
and generator, so I imagine it's more suited to them. On a different note, did
Alfa's change from Lucas to Bosch signify the end of the of the 'Italian
masochistic' era?
A: This will work with the Lucas portions. The Bosch change was a misbegotten effort to work around the simultaneous Italian/British Stevedore Strikes of the
early 70s.
Q: HI, JUST HAPPENED ACROSS YOU AUCTION. GREAT ITEM BUT I AM CURIOUS. I DO
ARCADE GAME REPAIRS ON THE OLD UPRIGHT ARCADE GAMES. YOU KNOW, PACMAN, DEFENDER,
DIGDUG? THE X-Y MONITOR TYPE GAMES SUCH AS BATTLEZONE, STARWARS OR TEMPEST ARE
FAMOUSLY KNOWN FOR RELEASING THE X-Y SMOKE FROM THEIR MONITORS. WOULD THIS TOOL
BE SUITABLE TO REINTRODUCTION OF MONITOR SMOKE. YOU SEE THE SMOKE IS READILY
AVAILABLE ON EBAY BUT THE RECHARGE TOOL IS NOT AS ATARI QUIT OFFERING THEM YEARS
AGO. THESE MONITORS ARE QUITE EXPENSIVE TO REPAIR WHEN YOU DONT HAVE THE PROPER
SERVICE TOOLS. PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF THIS WOULD WORK OR WOULD I NEED AN ADAPTOR
SUCH AS P/N 2FUB-1269-AR. THANKS.....FRED
A: Got me. I got my VIC-20 to run one game of "Hangman" with just a
spritz, though.
Q: Enough, enough already! I cannot allow you to perpetuate this lowbrow
fraud any longer! Anyone with any knowledge of Lucas products should recognize
that the Lucas label art on the jar is wrong for this early version of the smoke
kit. And of course, the lid should be black with the valve oriented 180º to the
label. The smoke color itself is not original to the early cloth insulated
wiring and perhaps even for the early plastic insulation. Bidders beware, this
is most certainly a replica, and a poor one at that — possibly from Taiwan.
Additionally, the smoke replacement kit was meant to be used only by highly
qualified personnel. The dangers of misuse are indescribable - certainly I can't…,
but the phrase "gone up in smoke" was born of this process.
A: Oh, yeah? well, in the interest of openness, I'm going to place your tirade
on the site. That doesn't mean I like it, though.
Q: I wonder if you would do an exchange (with a cash adjustment in my favour).
I have some bottles of 'bottom air' that was supplied by Dunlop many years ago.
The advantage is that it takes up very little space as of course when you get a
flat the top air in the tyre remains perfectly serviceable, it's only the bottom
air that needs replacing. I will wait your reply. All the best from the UK.
A: If this is the proper bottom air for a set of 4.00X 10 Gold Seals, we may be
able to work a deal. We have a '68 Moke in the shop with original rubber, and
the domestic bottom air keeps migrating out. It evidently doesn't have enough
atmospheric British ambient smoke to fill the pores in the tyres.
Q: My brother Joe is currently (well last 8 years) working on a mini and he's
never managed to get ANY smoke out of it yet. Would it be possible to use this
kit to make some come out of other parts of the car - not just the wiring loom.
I was thinking mainly about the exhaust...
A: No.
Q: Geez, I wish I had seen this auction before I bought some
"off-shore" smoke. I didn't realize there was some OEM stuff left. To
make matters worse, I switched to synthetic smoke (yeah, I know) but it seemed
like the right thing to do at the time. Unfortunately for my 72 Range Rover, I
have not yet been able to fashion an effective bypass for the optional Fairey
smoke pump which has recently failed. If only you could have made this item
available earlier!
A: Hook you battery charger up with the leads reversed, preferably at the
starting motor, and turn it to "high". This should purge the wires of
all the synthetic smoke, enabling a refill with the proper stuff.
Q: Are you sure that offering to ship smoke overseas by air mail is allowed
under the Patriot Act and that smoke is not a prohibited substance that could
easily fall into the hands of terrorists and British Car Owners?
A: We spirit it out in a diplomatic pouch.
Q: HELP!! I have a 1960 Porsche 356 and a Lotus 7. The 356 is leaking
various fluids front and rear. While non of the fluid in question is coolant,
the gear oil is very clearly trying to attack the Lotus. My question is
"Does the smoke have any defensive properties for the British car to repel
this assault?" Thanks for the help. David
A: Gear oil won't hurt a Lotus 7. Try to calm yourself! No, this won't help.
Q: On a recent, rather spirited, off road competition I noticed several
sources of smoke emanating from my Ford Escort GT based kit car. Copious darkish
oil smoke from out of the hole in the bonnet that the carburetor sticks
through, profuse blue/white smoke from the sidepipe aimed at the spectators, wispy
brown turning to black smoke from the bellhousing apertures, white smoke
from both rear tyres, but alas, nothing at all from the electrical system. Is
this a common fault with Fords that can be easily rectified (no pun intended) by
fitting your product? As I'm only English could you tell me if the present bid
of $2,025 is more or less than a quid? Camilla sends her love, TTFN, Charles.
A: Aside from the lack of electrical smoke, my experience with Escort Gts at
American racing venues would indicate all is normal- no fettling called for at
all. You asking in old Pounds or new? My love to Camilla.
Q: I note that you are also selling genuine Lucas wiring on another site. Are
the wires intact or has the smoke already been depleted? If they are still
unmolested, it would seem that they would provide a most convenient source for
instant replenishment of the Lucas smoke cannister. As well, it has also been my
observation that a variant of Lucas smoke may be obtained by marinating
discarded Dunlop Bias (not radial and not steel-belted) tires in tar top battery
acid, placing the tires in a large sealed zinc-plated container together with
the now-depleted tar-top batteries. The container, placed on a platform, may be
set alight from underside. Insertion of a spiral copper tube into the top of the
container will result in the production of a very high density liquid condensate
of smoke which I understand has an unlimited shelf life if sealed properly.
Under no conditions should this condensate be ingested.
A: I learned at the Mitty this year that the heating process can be expedited by
setting alight a VW Beetle (early) magnesium engine block.
Q: Where would I mount the Smoke Kit in my Mini? There's certainly no room
under the bonnet, and the boot is filled with a large tool kit, spare tire,
extra spark plugs, points & condensers, spare coil, baling wire, duct tape,
5 quarts of 20w-50 Castrol, tow strap, jumper cables, one gallon jug of 50/50
antifreeze, spare fuses, wire stripper, 20 foot roll of 16 ga. wire, electrical
connectors, large roll of electrical tape, a Haynes Manual, and a Book of Common
Prayer.
A: You need the half-pint (Imperial) model. By the way, carrying all that kit of
spares is just asking for trouble.
Q: Will this fit my zetec mondeo.
A: Only if you use it as a donor car for a Lotus 7 copy.
Q: Sir! I have recently stumbled upon your forum to which I think I can put
your mind at ease concerning the rarity of this item. I live in the foothills of
the Smoky Mountains here in East Tennessee. The early settlers of this area were
primarily English and really never left this area. Hence the hain't and yall's
and pokes that people still speak in everyday language is just old English!
Well, to my point. They also drove many British cars over the years and one
still can find many of these old relics all over the landscape languishing in
fields with their rotting harnesses leaking away, yes that is correct, the Smoky
Mountains actually got their name from the LBC's. I would be happy to climb up
to Clingman's dome and hold an empty moonshine jar up in the air and
"capture" some genuine, well preserved smoke for anyone that will pay
the cost of the moonshine (not many empty jars lying about you know) and the
cost of shipping to their destination. And yes, I will ship worldwide.
A: This is a hoax! We have the same smoke, from the same Scots-Irish roots, in
WV. It is being represented by Scottish separatists that this smoke will
directly replace the genuine Lucas smoke. It will, instead, reverse your
earthing and burn out the dynamo, hence rendering every military vehicle in the
UK stationary, enabling Sean Connery to finally rule the British Isles. Beware!
Q: My cousin is restoring a Riley and he had heard that Lucas (the inventors
of convergent technology) had worked on a variant that recycled the smoke through
the casework as a woodworm/termite/borer deterrent. Are you aware of this
application and if so what modifications can be made to the item for sale?
A: My friend Super Dave Bondon has used the method for years to keep a
Morgan/Lotus race car in sound condition. Merely replace the fuse-box adapter
with BMC tool 18G187 (radiator reverse-flush adapter) and you are ready to go.
Q: While I can see your unit would be suitable for early model Land Rovers,
I was wondering if it would also suit my Defender. I am becoming increasingly
worried about my Defender which has yet to emanate any smoke and, as per the oil
leak situation, I am beginning to wonder if perhaps the system has run out of
smoke ? Perhaps you can steer me in the right direction on this one.
A: Your temperament would obviously be better suited by a Series I Land Rover.
As your Defender has no bullet connectors, this unit is incompatible. Thanks for
the query.
Q: It is necessary to sound a note of caution here for potential users of
this device who wish to recharge their Lucas screen-wiper circuits. The screen
wiper motor (part numbers SW53098A through SW53089K) normally has an attached
pair of smoke dispersant arms which can cause the unit to dispense far larger
volumes of smoke than other units, so an extra large reservoir may be needed
when using the kit. It was rumored that the dispersant arms were originally
intended to clear water from glass, but rigorous scientific tests have proved
that this was not possible.
A: Thanks for bringing it up. An added note of caution- The replacement plastic
dispersant arms moving across glass can generate offsetting (static) smoke which
will back up into the wiring causing great havoc. Please use proper (Tex or
similar) arms at all times.
Q: I'm a little skeptical about this being a genuine Lucas product . . .If it
were real, wouldn't it be leaking?
A: See the discussion of the Nuffield Paradox belong. This ground has been
covered already.
Q: Is it possible that this Smoke Kit will work for Lucas refrigerators? I
had always heard that one of these refrigerators would keep my Guinness at the
perfect (room) temperature. But mine seems to be faulty and the beer is cold.
Will more smoke help to rectify this situation?
A: Try using a Series II E-Type AC unit. I've found that the vent temperature is
ideal for most Irish stouts. Your Lucas refrigerator is probably hopelessly
beyond repair.
Q: This is not really a question but a desperate plea for help. I recently
completed a patent search for a replacement smoke generator that would make this
product obsolete. However during a recent vacation to area 51 in Arizona some
little green men abducted my 1964 Hillman from the parking garage at the Indian
Casino. Although they returned the car - - my original papers were missing. I
would appreciate it if you would all keep an eye out for these nefarious
creatures. It will be easy to recognize them -- as I said -- they are little and
green -- about the color of British Racing Green. Thank you for giving me a
forum to enlist aid. Good luck with he NOS Lucas item -- if I locate these
characters I will put my invention on e-bay for sale. Any information leading to
their capture will be rewarded with a free unit.
A: Glad to help, but those were probably not aliens. Lifeforms with the
technology for intergalactic travel would surely have kept a Hillman to take
back and study.
Q: Is this the type of smoke one would use to blow up someone's ass? If so
I'll bid. I'm running low.
A: It seems the British motor trade did that for decades, so this must be the
same stuff.
Q: I'm afraid you've become trapped in a classic Joseph Heller conundrum. You
assert that this is an authentic Lucas part and offer substantial testimony that
it works and is effective in many applications. It would seem impossible that it
could work and also be a genuine Lucas product.
A: This is known as the Nuffield Paradox. It can't be helped. It is the reason
BL finally adopted a clenching sphincter as their corporate logo.
Q: Great piece! Tobad there are not a hundred bidders. Perhaps the
initial price was too high. I have adapted mine by wrapping wire around the muffler and
just letting the smoke fill the entire interior and engine bay and trunk -- no
electric problems what so ever. Course there is nothing Lucas left in the system.
Happy TR6 racer!
A: This is a crude but effective technique first pioneered by the Triumph works
teams at LeMans in 1961. I'm glad to see it is still in use. I understand the
TRF TR-S is similarly equipped.
Q: I'm amazed that you have one of these kits in your possession. It was my
understanding that they were produced under license from Lucas at the Lockheed/Girling
factory in Swindon which burned to the ground in the late seventies, taking with
it all of the SSB775 brake master cylinder kits for the dual-circuit master
cylinders fitted to BL vehicles of the period. I note the lack of of the proper
pump and pressure gauge needed to ensure priming of the system at a minimum of
1.5-2.0 bar. Of course this can also be accomplished by momentarily grounding
the "A" terminal of the voltage regulator (both words being totally
misleading) whilst hopping up and down on one foot. Alternatively one can attach
the special Churchill adaptor hose (L.184A-2A)to the spare tire valve. This
technique was later adapted by Volkswagen for windshield washer operation.
Thanks.
A: I'm always open to a tech tip from a master. Thank you!
Q: I always thought that the volume "Smoke and Mirrors" (Luddite
Press, 1947) was the Lucas Master Catalog. I also always thought that the smoke
is stored in the battery(s). From my experience, the smoke stops being released
when I disconnect the battery, and comes back immediately once I reconnect it.
Also, once the smoke stops even with the battery attached, then you know it's
time to replace the battery. Would this kit refill the battery, and is this
smoke the same used to cloud the Lucas mirrors?
A: Actually, "Smoke and Mirrors" (Luddite Press, 1947) was Dr. Heads
expose of the failed Lucas/ Raydyot merger of 1946. The battery is actually the
"electrical" part of the smoke system. It apparently, according to the
latest theories, energizes nanosolenoids in the wiring harness that allow the
smoke molecules to flow through the wires. That is why a modern
"smokeless" sealed battery will still work in our cars.
Q: Can you get hold of any Clutch Plate smoke? I lost all the smoke from my
1955 Alvis clutch on a steep hill in Yorkshire yesterday and now it wont
accelerate properly. I know its a long shot, but you could have contacts.
A: You might check with Aaron Couper at Couper's Classic Cars in West Pawlet,
Vermont. He stocks Alvis clutch smoke, or so I've heard.
Q: I've upgraded quite a bit of the wiring in my MGB to newer wires, modern
sealed connectors, blade type fuses, and modern switches but I still have quite
a lot of the original wiring in place as well. Will the newer wiring interfere
with the proper retention of the original Lucas smoke and operation of the
original circuits? I'm worried that it might block the smoke.
A: Technically, you now own an MGB/Miata hybrid, but the elimination of Lucas
connectors and switches, artfully done, will usually just speed the flow of the
smoke to its ultimate destination- the atmosphere.
Q: Will you ship to the UK? As you can imagine, the amount of Lucas smoke
that has inadvertently escaped over the years is far too great to be replaced -
it forms a constant gray blanket in the sky that some people mistake for clouds
and generally bland weather - but this could be just the ticket to prevent
further loss.
Jun-08-05
A: Perhaps I should leak-test my unit. That could explain what passes for summer
around here, as well. Thanks for the insight!
Q: If you could mass produce this valuable addition to any British car, you
could change the world! I own three of them and carry spare "smoke filled
wires" to replace defective ones, but this would eliminate that! Is there
anyway to use this to refill the smoke in the bar coolers and fridge's in the
UK? Do you think that we could actually get them to start drinking cold beer???
Thanks very much! Joe A
A: It's been tried. It seems that the Smiths kegs won't dispense anything at a
desired temperature, and the Lucas Bakelite tap handles become brittle below 49
degrees F, breaking and causing a workplace hazard for the serving wenches.
Q: Sir, My 55 TF1500 has been converted to negative earth by DPO. When using
the 530433, should all electrics be set to "dim" "flicker"
or "off"? ..or as all settings seem to work the same, does it make a difference? For a
successful transfer, can you tell the the concours acceptable
temp. for an OSH during this to ensure proper torque and seating? (assuming
all proper cork & copper gaskets are in place) David
A: Hi, David- You have obviously answered your first question through careful
reasoning. As for your second, 50 degrees F. and 100% humidity, with a dew point
of 49 degrees, seems to be the accepted nominal condition.
Q: 1) When the Brits took over the aircooled VW plant after WW2 did they use
Lucas smoke? I own an old triumph and the smoke emitted from my '62 bug smells
quite familiar! 2 if so, I assume this thing will work with old bugs too?
A: That is more likely the smell from your overheated wet carpet, but it's worth
a try!
Q: Sorry to keep asking questions, but the general run of questions and
answers has been so informative and enlightening, that this has become a
fascinating forum on Lucas and British cars in general. Much better than the
Austin Marina enthusiasts chat group I belong to. Anyway, I see mention of the
Lucas Bullet Connector in your listing and I've always wondered something about
them. I know they were designed by the famous Lucas engineer and auto-eroticist,
Richard Head, and his commitment to the latter is evident both in appearance and
assembly, but I'm unclear about some aspects of their function. Specifically,
can you tell me if they were intended to function as a structural fastener to
connect bits of the harness together, or are they also used to occasionally pass
current and smoke? My experience leaves this very unclear, what are your
thoughts?
A: As Mr. Head relates in his seminal work "Smoke and Mirrors" (Luddite
Press, 1947), the connectors were originally designed as a mere structural
member, but as, when new, the were very effective at this function, the
management at Lucas was uninterested. However, when it became apparent that they
would also function as a smoke-relief valve for overtaxed circuits, a deal was
struck and an industry was born. Thanks for your question.
Q: I have had on occasion an apparent "dam" on my LBC, in which
the smoke will not pass. Will this genuine smoke leap this dam and get my LBC
going again? Thanks, Paul
A: The usual course for the smoke is to move to an adjacent wire, bypassing the
"dam" and returning directly to earth, thus opening a fresh channel
for smoke release. Although a sharp rap with a knock-on mallet may temporarily
rectify the impediment. Good luck!
Q: Not so much a question as a possible marketing tool. This would make a
tremendous addition to some products offered by the Blimey Group. I have used
their Leaks-A-Lot and Rattle-B-Gone with great (see: limited) success. Another
item I found to be useful in emergencies is Dr. Scholl's English Vehicle Brake
Back-up Sole. I think 3 a.m. tv is chomping at the bit for a package like this.
A: Your suggestions have been passed on to our R&D Department in Roswell,
GA. Thanks so very much!
Q: I have a "friend" who owns a BMW MINI. Since these are Minis in
name only would induction of some real Lucas smoke make his car more acceptable
among his classic mini owner friends? Would there be a chrylser/bmw adapter that
allows the use of Lucas smoke? He has already taken to squirting drops of oil on
the ground and only parks next to large SUV type vehicles to help with the
illusion.Thanks.
A: Gee, this is a tough one. I think he's already doing all that can be done.
Since none of the Lucas smoke would ever leak out, he'd only be impressing
himself (same as now!).
Q: Hi, I have full set of Chrysler K car manuals, post-Rootes, pre-Benz, I
would like to trade for this pre-Ford Lucas device. Can we strike a match, or
will you be blowing smoke?
A: K-Cars drove me to British in the first place, but if you throw in a set of
manuals for a first-generation Lean-Burn analyzer, we MIGHT talk.
Q: I live in California, long and widely ballyhooed as the land of the fruit
and the nut, where it's illegal to smoke indoors almost everywhere. Will this
kit cause me to be arrested and my Jaguar impounded for smoking in indoor
parking garages?
A: One must first ensure that the wiring harness has been repaired, so the smoke
stays on the INSIDE. CARB is probably watching your car anyway. Since you own a
Jag, preliminary testing should probably be done in a nearby Red state.
Q: I see that you have already had one negative feedback. Could this be the
result of your misrepresenting an auction item? How can we be sure that this is
THE authentic Lucas smoke kit and not something you've quickly assembled from
spare parts and is not likely to be up to specification. Come to think of it,
most Lucas items were not up to specification, so maybe this is, and therefore
is an imitation. I'm confused, please let me know your answer before my smoke
escapes.
A: I imagine the proof would be in the pudding. If, when hooked up, it doesn't
function properly, it must be the real thing! Your logic is impeccable!
Q: THIS IS GREAT....YOU PUT THIS OUT FOR AUCTION JUST AS I AM ABOUT TO GIVE
UP AND SELL MY POOR LBC. LET ME SEE HOW HIGH THE BIDDING GETS AND MAYBE I CAN
GET IT FOR THE NEXT LUCKY OWNER OF MY CAR. I BET IF I OFFER AS SPARES IT MIGHT
HELP CLOSE THE DEAL, THANKS FOR LISTING. PS THIS IS CORRECT FOR THE EARLY
TRIUMPHS, RIGHT..???
A: More correct for early TRs than for almost anything else, short of
Chrysler-built "Sunbeams".
Q: Please can you tell me if this smoke will work on an old English (British)
built land rover? They type with a single fuse. Only the smoke keeps escaping
out of mine and as you say the non-genuine parts simply don't last.
A: This is the proper smoke for your Land Rover, but must be metered VERY
carefully or the wiring insulation will swell, resulting in even more leaks. 'Tis
a tedious process, best tempered with frequent applications of Guinness.
Q: Being a series Land Rover owner I tend to go "wading" on
occasion. I have been told that Lucas smoke is not water proof. Is this true? Or
can Lucas additives be added to Lucas smoke?
A: Wrong Lucas, but I've heard that mixing the smoke with Waxoyl prior to introduction
to the circuit is effective.
Q: I am in favour of your smoke device but have heard through the grapevine
that marijuana smoke is more effective. Could this be true?
A: This is an urban myth, but it also explains why so many Yankee college
students abandoned their little British cars in Elkins, WV in the late 60s and
early 70s.
Q: Will the unit work in smoky/smoggy environments? If not is there a dry
nitrogen purge kit to give low smoke offsets at an additional price?
A: This unit has always performed as advertised in my British Car Restoration
Shop, so it goes without saying that it will work in a smoky environment. It is
recommended, however, that the technician perform a regular purge of himself
with a good quality dry gin. Thanks for your interest.
Q: Man, this is so cool! Is there a water pipe adapter for filtering the
smoke? Oh yea, and do you really need a car?
A: The question is, more likely: does one really NEED a BRITISH car?
Q: Seems to me being grounded was important when "recharging" with
smoke. In your opinion, is this a positive or negative thing?
A: This unit is presently set up for Negative Earth. It can be repolarized by
inverting a diode, connecting a jumper wire, and flashing the whole shebang off
the "A" terminal of the voltage regulator (dynamo control box) however.
Thanks for the astute question!
Q: Is it possible to permanently mount the kit under the hood and leave it
connected all the time? I have a 1962 Jag 3.8 E 2+2. Could also use a smoke
generator and/or smoke recapture kit to keep up with the release of new smoke.
Thanks
A: While never released as an actual service bulletin, I understand it was
common practice at Jaguar dealerships right up until the Ford buy-out (buy-in?)
to install a unit in the boot, away from prying eyes, and use a Trico electric
screen-jet pump as a booster. This installation, naturally, requires the use of
Lucas smoke pellets, of which there is apparently only one surviving supplier
(see below). Thanks for your interest!
Q: I happen to own a WWII-era British smokemobile which was used for training
village constabulary and civil defense personnel. It produced the smoke by
introduction of hydrocarbons or tablets into a special smoke generating chamber.
I recognize that the hydrocarbon smoke is a no-go, but as I recall, the tablets
were manufactured by Lucas as a part of the war effort and the smoke the tablets
produced was especially acrid. Do you suppose there is any market for this
vehicle and my remaining Lucas NOS tablets?
A: I'm certain that if you were to bring both the vehicle and the remaining
tablets to the larger all-British meets and set up a service stand to merely
replenish the smoke lost whilst demonstrating the cars for the concours judges,
surely you'd be the most popular chap in all the land!
Q: Will this smoke kit also stop oil leaks on British cars?
A: No, nor will it bring about Middle east Peace. Some things just ain't going
to happen, my friend.
Q: Do you have any kits that enable the conversion of the smoke for
electrical wiring to fluid for brake or clutch applications? I'm sure the
quality of the smoke would be sufficient to achive DOT 3 at least if processed
with the appropriate converter.
A: I'm not aware of any such adaptors presently available. I know that in the
late 60s such a process was being explored in a joint Lucas/girling effort, but
it seems that the only suitable use for the resulting smoke was as a replacement
for the vegetable-based hydraulic fluid used by Citroen.
Q: My and my Jaguar's salvation might be found in your genuine Lucas
Replacement Wiring Harness Smoke Kit. Please tell me whether I have deduced
correctly, from your description, that this genuine smoke will pass concour
d'elegance standards. I have been attempting to have a 100 point car in national
competition and, yet, invariably the judges deduct a point or two for
non-original wiring smoke, which leaves a tell-tale visibility when it backs up
through the electrical wiring and contacts into my original Lucas head-lamp
bulbs. A 99.99 score will not do, so please tell me whether your NOS OEM kit
will solve this problem? Cheers!
A: You can rest assured that this unit, properly maintained, will produce
nothing short of Pebble-Beach grade concours smoke. I recharged the wiring in my
EX182 clone using this selfsame unit, and my Lucas Lemans headlamps are still as
clear as a Lawyer's conscience. However, if residual non-concours smoke is still
trapped in the wiring, I cannot be responsible for contamination of the fresh
Lucas smoke. The wires my be purged of old non-original smoke by
reverse-polarity connection of a battery charger to the circuit in question
prior to refilling the circuit. This should be entrusted to a professional,
unless one isn't handy, in which case, an amateur will do. Please complete and
return the disclaimer that is furnished with the unit.
Q: Not a question, but more of a general comment vouching for the capacity of
this unit. I had a college roommate who kept one of these contraptions under his
bed in our dorm room and with the help of a Pink Floyd album and a well placed
window fan we were able to "replace" smoke for days...man.
A: Another endorsement!
Q: I'm curious. Yellow. Anyway, I've an old clapped-out Series 1 E-Type by
the name of Tweety; now, his smoke is still in the wires, but you never know! My
question is this: Will the Lucas smoke work in any of my DKWs? Do you think the
Brit smoke, once introduced into the German wiring harness, would cause any
undue 'allergic' reaction? Signed, One Large Dude, Figuring on A Rational
Thought.
A: I'd suppose that all the British smoke that Bomber Harris brought to
Deutschland may have caused a temporary reaction, but they seem to have gotten
over it. I have used, in a pinch, Lucas smoke in my Hansa 1100, but could never
get it to run long enough to use it much before it leaked out. Sorry, that's all
I've got. E-types AND DKWs, huh? Wow!
Q: Can I refill the canister with Japanese smoke emanating from an overrich
Mikuni DCOE? Will Japanese smoke affect the accuracy of the reading?
A: Although the Mikuni DCOE, being a license-built Italian design, is capable of
generating a goodly amount of "smoke", one must remember that it is
merely unburnt hydrocarbons and not in any way comparable to true Lucas smoke,
or even the less-refined alternative brands of electrical grade smoke. I'm
afraid that it would have the additional undesired effect of softening the insulation
on the Lucas wiring, as well. It's not recommended. Thanks for your
interest!
Q: Dear Mr. Bolton I see you too have been duped by the long running British
auto industry plot. As Dan Brown reveals in his next historical thriller the
secret Lucas Order of the sacred Spark has for years installed "black
boxes" capable of producing the necessary smoke a heavenly fire to run
these vehicles. They may be cleverly disguised as a "battery"
"fuse box" or yes its true a "distributor" when in actuality
the only force that keeps the auto running is the belief of its driver or
sometimes the desperate supplication of a passenger on thje roadside in a dark
and stormy night. I believe this is described in the upcoming novel as the
Tinkerbell principle. Even as I write agents of BMC seek to stop dissemination
of this knowledge.
A: Your question reminds me of a passage from The Hagakure, in which Master
Tsunetomo relates: "There is something to be learned from a rainstorm. When
meeting with a sudden rainstorm, you try not to get wet and run quickly along
the road. But doing such things as passing under the eaves of houses, you will
still get wet. When you are resolved from the beginning, you will not be
perplexed, though you will still get the same soaking. This understanding
applies to everything".
Q: Do you have any good sources for smoke recharging? My kit is completely
out of smoke and I'm loathe to attempt a recharge without the proper equipment.
I understand the charging unit must be the proper Lucas one, part number 31957,
or the recharge will be unsuccessful as the charging units from Smiths, Sealey,
and Jaeger are missing the proper carbon plasma canister and the Robinair one
from the USA is completely useless without the special Lucas adapters that have
been NLA at all suppliers since 1961.
A: Thanks for the question. As you have found, the Robinair kit, the only one
currently marketed, is junk. Bulk Lucas Smoke being long unavailable some
improvising may be required. I have found that the easiest method is to attach
the fuse adaptor on the bottle to an Alfa Romeo GTV6 plumbed through a BMC
Commodore 3.4L Marine Diesel Injector Nozzle Reverse-Flush Adaptor (BMC tool #
18G109E), using an Austin 2.2 Diesel hire-car Pintaux Nozzle Testing Adaptor (BMC
Tool #18G109B), inline with a Lucas F6M filter, start the engine, and turn on all
the electrical accessories at once. This will normally generate enough fresh
filtered smoke for a complete recharge. The Paris-Rhone smoke is close enough in
consistency to Lucas to stay in all but the most porous Lucas circuits.
Q: Is the smoke canister rechargeable or do you dispose of it after use? Is
there a gauge to let you know when the canister needs replaced?
A: The canister is rechargeable with any commonly available smoke source, as
long as it is composed of copper, PVC, and/or cotton. Whilst it is recommended
that harness smoke content be measured with a voltmeter, it is considered
acceptable practice to hold a Zippo lighter up to your lamps to see if they're
burning, as recommended in the owner's manual. Thanks for your interest!
Q: WOW!!! I thought all of these had been used up long ago! I actually had
one that I got off a bloke in Australia 3 years ago that was advertised as NOS,
but someone had used all the factory pre-charged smoke up except for a small
quantity that was only sufficient to recharge the socket assembly (Lucas 545072)
for the inspection lamp on my 1955 Beardmore Mark VII Taxi (Ford Consul Engine).
Do you have a "Buy it Now" price? Cheers
A: I think I know the bloke of which you speak- a while back he was also
advertising NOS NGK sparking plugs for Indian Motorcycles, I believe. Rest
assured this kit is untapped, and at any rate can be recharged with replacement
smoke available at any curb market in the US until July 5. The secret is in the
Churchill filter, Mate. Thanks for the inquiry.
Many thanks are due to the original poster of this auction!